Okay, not literal mountains, though I totally recommend that too - the feeling I get from summiting a mountain peak is the same wonderful natural high I get when I face a fear and smash it to pieces.
This past week, I challenged one of my biggest fears: public speaking.
In some ways it did feel like climbing a mountain. I looked up at the peak and had that strange mix of excitement and anxiety, not really quite sure which feeling is stronger. Start walking, hiking, scrambling...this is the point I start questioning whether this was a good idea, whether or not I can actually make it. In the photo above, my boyfriend Colin actually had to boost me up over a rocky bit that I couldn't quite reach to pull myself over. The wind was whipping around us, steep drops on either side, but the peak was near. It always gets scarier the closer you get to the peak. But finally, we summited and waves of adrenaline and relief washed over us. The view was phenomenal. Overcoming my fear of public speaking was a similar experience to summiting Mount Fuya Fuya.
I remember in elementary school, grade 5 or 6, I had to give a "public speech". I think it was meant to be 3-4 min long. Each student had their speech written out on cue cards. People chose exciting stories to talk about. I don't even remember what mine was about. Maybe endangered species? I don't remember because I never did it. I was so terrified that instead I faked sick on the day of the public speeches. They picked a make up day for those who didn't do it. I faked sick that day too. I never did it. In high school, I avoided taking any classes where I would have to perform or give speeches.
Now, at 31, I decided to give public speaking another shot. Not just public speaking, but doing so with... No notes or slides for prompts or reminders. No podium to hide behind. A strict three minute time limit (3:01 = disqualified!). And a panel of six judges. Just a little bit TERRIFYING. It's called the Three Minute Thesis (3MT®) Competition. It began at the University of Queensland in Australia and is now a international competition. This was the 7th annual competition at the University of Windsor (more information here).
The weeks leading up to it, I avoided thinking about it. I wrote a draft script then forgot about it. I presented my draft to my lab group less than a week before and realized how far I was from ready. And now I only had the weekend left to rewrite it, memorize it, and practice it. I'll admit, that weekend was not a relaxing one. On Saturday morning I didn't think it would be possible for me to memorize my speech by Monday afternoon. By Sunday night I had it down, but I was stressed and overwhelmed. There was a lot of pacing. There were multiple times that I wanted to throw in the towel. There might have even been some tears. It didn't help that I had a field season in Costa Rica coming up in a week (oh yea, that super important thing). But on Monday morning, I woke up feeling pretty confident and relaxed. There was certainly some nerves, but I didn't feel as terrified as I did on Saturday or even Sunday. I just kept telling myself, "You're going to nail it. You're going to make yourself proud."
Monday morning, I got up and went to the gym. I limited myself to one cup of coffee then drank a ton of water. I had a relatively healthy brunch. I went through my speech a few more times. I walked most of the way to school and practiced my speech while walking.
The competition was in a fairly large room, but I had pictured it being much bigger and with many more people, so it was a bit of a relief when it was at least half the size and with 1/4 the number of people I had expected. There were 15 other competitors. We were all nervous. Some were pacing nervously. Others were muttering their talk under their breath. Then it started. One by one, we got up and gave our speech. And one by one, each person would go up shaking with nerves then return to their seat with a sense of relief that it was over.
I thought I was going to shake. I thought I was going to forget everything. I thought I would choke on my words. I thought I would stutter or say the wrong words. But I didn't. I actually even felt pretty good up there. Nervous for sure, but not shaking and not terrified.
My speech was on the first data chapter of my thesis, which talks about restoration of tropical dry forests and the impact on bird communities. Read more about my research on my Current Research page.
Looking down at the judges as I said my the last sentence and seeing a few of them smile followed soon after by a round of applause was a fantastic confidence boost. Hearing them call me back up to the stage later on to accept an award for 2nd place in this university-wide competition was another huge boost.
It's a pretty cool feeling receiving an award for something that I always thought was my biggest weakness. I not only overcame this fear, but I totally nailed it.
Here are some things that helped:
1. Picture yourself succeeding. Don't tell yourself "Don't screw up. Don't forget anything. Don't do weird things with your arms." just keep telling yourself you're going to nail it. Picture yourself doing your absolute best. My stepdad gave me this piece of advice the night before the competition and I woke up the next day convincing myself I was going to succeed.
2. Practice as much as you can. Not only with yourself, but with friends, family, coworkers. Anyone who will listen. My boyfriend listened to the point where he could probably recite it word for word (thank you!!). We also set up a video chat with his parents so I could present to a new set of people. I presented to a group of friends who made me do it again and again until I did it confidently and without mistakes.
3. Get help writing your speech if you can. A lab mate, friend, current biologist but former student of literature gave me some tips for mine and it really improved with his suggestions (thanks Ian!)
I want to finish off by saying congratulations to the other winners of the competition and to everyone else who faced similar fears and participated in this challenge. Many of the competitors who presented did so in a language that was not their first. It was challenging enough to give a three minute speech in my first (and only) language, so I feel like those people deserve recognition for that amazing feat. Congrats to all 16 competitors!
So when the weather isn't good for summiting mountain peaks, pick a fear or weakness of yours and demolish it!
Watch the video of my 3MT: https://ctl2.uwindsor.ca/vidlinks/7E382882EB9301F6.html